In Which Our Heroine Enumerates Beliefs

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Hey I’m back! Didja miss me? Who am I kidding? Of course you did. The readership of this blog is small but intensely devoted, and completely out of touch with reality. Like the Ted x Robin fandom.

Moving on. This post should probably be filed in the “Things the author will say as if they should be surprising but actually make total and complete sense based on the adult woman she has developed into” series.

Believe it or not (and trust me that line is just going to get more un-funny as I continue writing this post) I used to believe in things.

Hard to fathom – I know – looking at me now, unrepentant old cynic that I am. I have, since high school, had a wrinkle developing above my right eyebrow from looking incredulous a hard 97% of the time. But there was a time, when I was young and needed the money, that I believed some pretty strange things:

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In Which Our Heroine Discusses The Ides of March

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Today in “only vaguely-topical blog posts” we will be taking a figurative stab at the Ides of March.

If you want to give me a literal stab for that turn of phrase I completely understand.

Moving on.

The Ides of March – Maybe you’ve heard of them, maybe you were home-schooled. In any case for those of you who don’t know the term Ides of March comes from the Latin phrase Idus Martiae. This was basically the midpoint of the month of March (because the Romans at that time didn’t really date things the way we do now and instead had this totally bass-ackward system where they assigned a beginning, midpoint, and endpoint for each month and the talked about their dates in relation to those points. The birthplace of Western Civilization people!).

It is also best known as the day the famous Roman general/statesman/namesake of our 6th grade class pet* Julius Caesar was basically pig-stuck to death by his colleagues at the Senate in what would become more-or-less understood as National Try Not to Get Murdered by Your Coworkers Day.

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In Which Our Heroine Talks Mean Canadian Teenagers

So the setup for this bad boy is pretty classic. Casey and Emily are walking down the stairs to get to class when they encounter Derek who queries “Who died?” at which point Casey gets so offended that she loses any concept of proprioception (yeah, save that for your next Scrabble* game) and topples down literally four stairs taking out at least three other people and landing ignominiously with her head pillowed on Corey Plunkett’s butt. At this point a whole group of kids come over to laugh at the situation and Derek in a moment of inspired wit cackles “Nice one… KLUTZILLA!”

And with that Casey is saddled with a new epithet and we’ve established the conflict for this whole episode.

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In Which Our Heroine Goes All Beauty Guru On Your Collective Ass (Asses?)

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Greetings people and welcome to the inaugural (and potentially ultimate) episode of “Britannia Rules does makeup stuff” in which I show you good folks things I put on my face (if only to make myself feel better for purchasing them in the first place).

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In Which Our Heroine Discusses Our Neighbors to the North

I consider myself to be a cultured person. I try to read as much as possible and keep up with current events. Which is why, in light of the results of this weekend’s GOP Primary, I felt it might perhaps behoove me to reacquaint myself with some of the finer points of Canadian culture.

By which I mean, of course, the seminal Canadian teen sitcom of the early aughts: Life With Derek.

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In Which Our Heroine Comes Bearing Links

So…things happened this week. Things which I got to watch from the comfort of my very own hotel room because I was traveling all week for work and got my own room like a big kid.

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Fancy livin’ here we come!

So that isn’t a link but there’s that.

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Photo courtesy of Rap-Up

I’m assuming you all already know about this but people are going to think I’ve been living under a rock if I don’t begin with Kendrick Lamar’s performance at the Grammys. It was actually unreal and between him and Lin Manuel Miranda it was a really great evening for music.

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In other news it was New York Fashion Week this week where we saw what is going to be coming down the pipe from designers for Fall ’16. I by no means followed the whole week with the same zeal as some die-hard fashion people but there were a few collections that really stuck out. Rodarte (which brought the witch vibez), Delpozo (some seriously interesting shapes), and Narciso Rodriguez.

The Paris Review also put out a cool article this week. What Kind of Name is That? explores the process and pitfalls of naming fictional characters.

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Taking a weird left turn from that rec, Pamela Anderson might have accidentally joined a cult in the short film CONNECTED. Directed by Luke Gilford it shows us Ms. Anderson in a totally different, unglamorous light as a woman searching for meaning in her life. It was really cool to see her do something a little more subtle and I think she actually really pulls it off!

And in other, similarly weird macabre, news I revisited an old article I read back in the day in Vanity Fair about the tragic deaths of Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake in 2008. The Golden Suicides delves into their careers, relationship, and the growing paranoia that ultimately contributed to their deaths.

Finally, we can now rest easy knowing how Poe Dameron (aka the face that launched a thousand fics) survived after the TIE fighter he commandeered crash landed on Jakku.

So yep, that is about all she wrote for now. Let me know if you have any links I should check out!

 

 

 

 

In Which Our Heroine Sets Out

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Greetings gentle reader, and welcome to the first installment of “Britannia Reads!”

In case you don’t know what this whole production is about read my intro to the project here! 

In this installment we will be following the story of Miss Sarah Mildmay in Lady of Mallow. The jacket summary reads as follows:

HOW LONG CAN A MASQUERADE LAST?

Sarah Mildmay had charmed her way into becoming young Titus Mallow’s governess. She was not really a governess. But she alone knew that Blane , the man acting as Lord of Mallow, was not really a lord either.

Each was seeking to unmask the other. She thought she knew why she was playing this dangerous double game. But why was Blane? Soon she began to doubt her own claims as Blane asserted his – over her…

 

It’s clear from the dash followed  by the dramatic ellipses that Dorothy Eden is not even in the general neighborhood of messing around here. So yeah, that’s the situation that’s about to go down.

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In Which Our Heroine Comes Bearing Links

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Happy Friday all you crazy kids! Here are some links to start your weekend off right.

Are you a Serial Fan? Here Asia McClain explains why she opted to testify at Adan Syed’s post-conviction hearing.

The excellent blog The Financial Diet just ran a great piece on what it’s like to run a website.

I know this isn’t a super new site but I have been putzing around on I Write Like… and it is a super interesting time-suck. The site analyzes your word choice and syntax etc. to compare you to famous writers. Apparently, I write like David Foster Wallace and/or Cory Doctorow which is categorically not true but still fun to think about.

The Mary Sue ran two great pieces this week about female script intros which I’ve been thinking about a lot as I’ve been reading the “work bookshelf” book I plan on reviewing. Also, POWERPUFF GIRLS REBOOT SNEAK PEAK!!!!!

See you Monday peeps!

In Which Our Heroine Provides Some Hump Day Jams

Greetings good folks of the internet! What better way to end the halfway point of the week than with some music? Lucky for you I took it upon myself to carefully curate 2 new playlists for just such an occasion.

Playlist 1: Big Girl Pants 

 

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It’s February which is well documented as the worst month for any number of reasons, not the least of which being that most of us started the year with such good intentions (work, personal, relationship goals etc.) and have more than likely fallen off the wagon already. Fear not! Whether work sucks, your house is a mess, or your love life sucks* this playlist is hopefully going to get you motivated to put your big girl pants (or whatever kind you want), button up, and buckle down.

Playlist 2: Winter Mix 2016 

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I’ve realized over time that my music tastes tend to change seasonally and winter is the time of year that I gravitate most toward electronic-leaning music. I think there is something about it being cold outside that makes me gravitate toward clean and sometimes otherworldly sounds. This playlist is a (in my opinion) great sampling of that genre. Next up: Spring, when I want to wear skirts and be nostalgic so expect a lot of twee ’60s vibez coming your way around April/May (Look! A rhyme!).

Hope you enjoy!

 

*Addendum – At 11:09pm I realized that “Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA” was probably the best way to summarize this. Coulda had a V8!